The Croat card player - a ballad

I know a skilful little man,
by name of Crumbly-Pilchard.
He spends his days upon the baize
and nights he fumbles Richard

He is a wizard with his Dick,
though hearts don't always break
We gaze amazed at his great length
and wish he'd down his stake

A boy should know, a boy should learn
that though he may have skill,
the enemies he makes in life
can kick him till he's shrill

Don't target me, O little man
or I will rhyme you sore,
and every time I see your mug
I'll come and kick you more

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