Round the town (2)
The best pub in Reading is not the Hobgoblin ; that honour belongs to The Retreat (not to be confused with The Monk's Retreat, which is a right shithole). The other night I was there for my customary pint of winter warmer, crafty snout etc. and overheard the following conversation, which I may have embellished slightly: 'Hear 'bout that Assange? 'Parantly a couple o' Swedish sorts found out 'e two-timed 'em. Instead o' cuttin' up 'is shirts they went to the pigs and cried rape.' 'Sounds like a load o' bollocks to me. 'Ooever 'eard of a Swede wha' needed forcin'?' 'Nah, didn't force 'em. It was all above-board like, but 'is condom broke, an' in Sweden that's enough to get yer banged up.' 'Cos 'is johnny broke? Seems a bit 'arsh.' 'That's Sweden for ya. I 'eard they even removed the pissers in one school cos standin' up for a slash was 'a sign o...