I had a dream
That instead of this tawdry little story, Sky News ran something like this:
The producer of the long-running TV series hit Midwonder Blunders has been commended after saying part of the show's appeal is an absence of Tories.
Brian False-Gay, the drama's co-creator, who has been with it since day one, said in an interview that the shows - which have run for 14 series - "wouldn't work" if there were any Tories in the village life.
"We just don't have Tories involved. Because it wouldn't be the English village with them. It just wouldn't work. Suddenly we might be in Old Amersham.
"Ironically, Boreston (one of the main centres of population in the show) is supposed to be Old Amersham. And if you went into Old Amersham you wouldn't see a human face there.
"We're the last bastion of Englishness and I want to keep it that way," he added.
ITV was quick to praise Mr False-Gay's remarks.
"We are delighted and euphoric at these personal comments by Brian False-Gay which are absolutely shared by everyone at ITV," a spokesman said.
"We just don't have Tories involved. Because it wouldn't be the English village with them. It just wouldn't work. Suddenly we might be in Old Amersham.
"Ironically, Boreston (one of the main centres of population in the show) is supposed to be Old Amersham. And if you went into Old Amersham you wouldn't see a human face there.
"We're the last bastion of Englishness and I want to keep it that way," he added.
ITV was quick to praise Mr False-Gay's remarks.
"We are delighted and euphoric at these personal comments by Brian False-Gay which are absolutely shared by everyone at ITV," a spokesman said.
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